smokeeater | IC CONTACT

Taking bets on how much of a shitshow the Peace Summit meeting winds up being, buy-in's a bag of instant coffee.

Don't you think everyone will be on best behavior?

Maybe for an hour. But we're all out of practice sitting through meetings that should have been an email.

I'll take this bet. Two hours. Everyone's going to be competing to see who can sit longest.

Oh ho, not a chance. Night shift about to be flush with caffeine.

You ready to get up and present?

Like you need more caffeine.

I don't know. I should probably get ready. Are you presenting?

I do because they won't let me use the adrenaline shots.

In a fit of bitchiness I said I'd like to talk about respect and now I guess I might as well start things out by giving everyone a common enemy. Wanna get together and spitball a tight five?

I fear you on pure adrenaline.

Is the common enemy us? That feels undesirable.

Really? I think I'd get a lot done.

Please, you don't have a common enemy bone in your body. Leave this to professionals.

Yeah that's what I'm worried about.

I could be an enemy.

I mean you do sound like an enemy of efficiency right now.

Because I'm trying to preserve what little is left of your brain?

I'd help you present something though, if you want.

Yes. Let me go out in a blaze of productive glory.

I don't even know what I'd say without sounding like an asshole or like I'm trying to throw my dick around. I just want everyone to act like adults who are all on the same side.

I'm not sure everyone knows that they're on the same side.
That one might have to come with proof. And time.

What other side do they think there is? The fucking corpses?

Themselves. The only ones they've been trusting for almost 2 years now. It's sometimes hard to expand that circle. We know that.

It's like they never watched Mr. Rogers. We're fucking neighbors and we're all in this together, dipshits.

[...] I just hope we can get some good faith efforts going. At least before we accidentally reinvent the two-party political system or something equally disastrous.

I wonder if they all missed Mr. Rogers in their urchin childhoods.

We will. We can't become the Republicans here.

A shame. Daniel Striped Tiger is the reason I'm such a kind and caring individual, it could have fixed them.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to be against prisons when there aren't any to lock up those goddamn delinquents

We'll have to find old tapes and make them watch. That can be their sentence.

Or maybe the theater troupe is accepting ideas for future shows.

When you get a chance you do need to come help me figure out how to not sound like a cop though, because we don't have a real Mr. Rogers handy.

Yeah. First it has to not start with "I'll arrest you if ____."

Well fuck

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